During the darkest of times, our emotions wreak havoc on our well-being. Our emotions run amok. Our physical bodies, while not directly impacted, feel the secondary effects. The resulting lost weight, increased wrinkles, and even new grey hair add a noticeable external result to how we are feeling on the inside. In the case of the impending or actual destruction of a relationship, there seems to be nothing physically or emotionally left untouched.
The negative emotions are the ones that seem to initially get and keep your attention. The fear, anger, and anxiety seem to wreak havoc however and whenever they can. They operate in parallel, and they cross paths seemingly at will, whichever one having the most information to use against you leading the effort, pulling you down a path that you don’t really want to go down but feel compelled to follow. Love IS NOT supposed to feel this way. In fact, fear, anger, and anxiety are the antithesis of love, the “anti-love”. Lucky for us, there are other options.
Hope and faith are something that we all have at our disposal. Hope is thought of as a confident expectation in the achievement of a desired outcome (future), where faith is thought of as giving substance to things hoped for (present). In short, hope is thinking for something you desire to have happen in the future, and faith is what you have now to bring your hope to pass. When going through difficult times, hope and faith are critical in helping one to get through the issue or dilemma that you are involved in. Without them, you are at the mercy of the negative emotions in your mind, tossed about like a small boat in an angry ocean.
One word that I have avoided so far regarding relationships is betrayal. It is an incredibly powerful word with nothing but negative connotation attached to it. There really is no way to bring up betrayal without thinking bad things. It is just an evil sounding word. Merriam-Webster defines betrayal as “to hurt (someone who trusts you, such as a friend or relative) by not giving help or doing something morally wrong”. That sounds pretty bad, and in practice, it feels much worse than it sounds. Is there anything that can overcome betrayal, especially the betrayal of a spouse or other loved one? Luckily yes…
How do we overcome betrayal? Simply with mercy. Mercy is an awesome word and, in the same way that fear, anger and anxiety can be considered anti-love, mercy is conversely love in action. Mercy is love so great that even betrayal cannot diminish it! How cool is that? Of course, without putting it into action, mercy means nothing. You may even say it would be very difficult if not impossible to extend mercy to anyone that has betrayed you. Who can do that? If you need an example, the greatest example is the crucifixion and death of the only perfect human being ever, Jesus Christ. He was betrayed by everyone around Him. He felt all of those anti-love emotions (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety) before His death, the same emotions that we feel when we are going through trials. He willingly experienced the worst that man has to offer in order to provide us with the opportunity for everlasting life. That is the greatest example of mercy there is! Who would trade places with him? And what was his response to all of the pain, the embarrassment, the false accusations? His response was, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”. That is the epitome of love. That is mercy in action.
Knowing that, I believe true love is available to all of us whether we have been betrayed or not. True love is out there waiting for us to find it. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what you do, where you are, or your age, we all have love available to us. I personally am excited and looking forward to experiencing that one true love that is our there waiting for me. It might not be perfect, but it will be perfect for me.
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